Shattered Glass… 7:00pm

Very tired…So this will be lacking any kind of life…

365 days ago tonight…was that night…the car crash night…

When I got out the snow was falling down and there were people standing all around…bright lights. Rhythmic lights. Coloured lights. They seemed to rock the highway back and forth, till I got a dizzy sick…trying not to throw up, because the paramedic said that if I did she was taking me to the hospital.

It is strange to sit so still in something spinning so violent…its odd to hear yourself being quiet when there is screaming trapped inside so small a space. It feels weird to have snow and glass get shoved down your shirt. Something about not feeling your body is alarming…

When making the phone calls I felt as if I was just standing off watching people and hearing voices….my own voice…how could I have been so calm? Quietly notifying people of the night’s events. I saw her tremoring and crying…hysteria taking over any rationality she once possessed…and I looked down at my hands, that was the first time I felt fear…what was wrong that I wasn’t losing it? Just a steady restlessness kept its endless path through my body.

The rest of the night was dazed…I spoke in slow sentences to those who were asking what had happened….I got home and threw up…I was not going to that hospital.

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Filed under From this Life, Journals Unabridged, Through The Night...

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