January One

I have no idea how to even explain any of this…I don’t even know why I am writing any of this…The world doesn’t care and doesn’t need to know. But I need to write so Im going to.

It seems like so much time has passed. Life has so quickly moved me on. I hate loosing people, even if I need to. There is always the debate of whether time has been taken to grieve and process. I just don’t see the point.

I keep staring at my reflection in the window…I almost never reconize myself, I thinks that is kind of odd. Its like I can never see myself as anything other than what I am right now, and yet I made it to 18. Really how much longer is there?

Some people tell me that God speaks to them, like he has told them certain things…I don’t understand…cuz there are things that have happened and I have no idea why, and if it was God, then why did he say that?

My heart is in like 20 different places, and Im homesick.

I don’t understand at all.

I have new friends. Its wierd. I love them, but in a way I can’t get used to it. 

I looked at this girl today and I was completely overwhelmed with how beautiful she is in God…and how I knew that she has so much in front of her, and how in love she is…and Im so excited to cry at her wedding.

I have to go.

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Filed under -Letters to Louise-, From this Life, God..., mental, Philosophies and my attempt at maturity, Through The Night...

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