Breaking and Becoming

Sometimes when Im in a room filled with worship and people with their bodies swaying, hands raised up, songs pouring forth…I stop and just breathe. I try to figure out what it is im feeling, or what I am not. Then I scare at the realization that sometimes I am completely nothing…not bad, not good…I don’t even know what it is that im focused on. I swear that God is all I live for, so then why am I not moving?  Maybe I have become so entwined in the logistics of a God and the ministry that I have let the Holy Spirit drain out with out ever re-filling. I know that worship isn’t about sparkling feelings in your stomach or tears streaming down your face…but sometimes when Im surrounded by people who are breaking and becoming under the Holy Spirit I kind of wonder whats wrong with me. I don’t know what I have become exactly…and the man at the mic says to just let it all go…to ask God to just tear it all out…and here I am..take it.

Take the torn up heart that one guy decided to leave alone.

Take the future that I am completely unsure of.

Take unrest out of my soul

Take everything that is not of you.

Apart from you there is no other reason for my life to continue.



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Filed under From this Life, God..., Journals Unabridged, Philosophies and my attempt at maturity, Through The Night...

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